A Birthday Gone Bad!

I can’t exactly sleep.  I have just had the best and worst day ever.  I enjoyed church this morning.  It was nice to hang out in the High School sunday school room and it was great to sit in church with my mother and my grandmother.

I read all afternoon to catch up on my Old Testament course reading and then mom had a Birthday party for me.  The Phillips family and my grandparents on the Carnes side all came up to the house and shared in a potluck and cake.  My cousin Marc and his friend was even able to make it for a while.  I enjoyed being with my family.

Unfortunately, I just can’t seem to get along with my father.  After our guests left, the night did not go so well.  I am no longer speaking to my father and I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to comfortably spend time in Pittsfield from now on.

It seems like we should just automatically love our parents.  I don’t know how two related people allow themselves to come to such a point that they can not stand to be around one another.  At first glance, God does not seem to like this, but, on the other hand, some of the greatest sagas of the Bible are about family members who have grievances with one another.  I have struggled to forgive my father for my childhood all of my adult life, I really thought that I could.  I thought I did, even, but I also know that I can’t forget what I went through growing up.

All I can hope for, now, is to find some peace through distance and hope that he can, as well.